Admissions rate revised down to -15.3 percent

The Office of Undergraduate Admission announced Thursday that it has revised its previously announced admissions rate for the Class of 2020, 4.69 percent, to -15.3 percent. This year’s record-low admissions rate was achieved by not only rescinding all offers of admission for the class of 2020 but also expelling current undergraduates who were determined not to be living up to the potential they demonstrated in their applications. Richard Shaw, dean of admissions and financial aid, expressed happiness with the new admissions numbers while counting his performance bonus for lowering the acceptance rate, which inexplicably was paid in two dollar bills. “I can’t believe we didn’t think of this before,” Shaw said. “A negative admissions rate is a great strategy for the growth of the University. It disrupts the whole landscape…


Link to Full Article: Admissions rate revised down to -15.3 percent